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It is common for kids who have been in foster care or are adopted to experience some form of Attachment Disorder. As an adoptive parent, I have a felt need to understand it more fully.
Attachment Disorder is defined as the condition in which individuals have difficulty forming lasting relationships. They typically fail to develop a conscience and do not learn to trust. They do not allow people to be in control of them due to this trust issue.
What causes this? It can be fairly simple...
(To see more, click here.)
The baby in the first cycle, learns to EXPECT the care-giver to meet needs. The baby in the disturbed cycle learns to EXPECT that the needs will NOT be met.
As I have studied this, I have learned that the brain does not develop properly. The child feels neglected in the moment and the brain never learns to respond as a normal brain does. The brain development is compromised with long-lasting effects. The good news, it can be retrained.
Why am I rambling on about this?
Well, this week I have been contemplating my attachment to my Father, God.
It started with my Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) lesson. The notes on Isaiah 1, talked about how Israel was God's child by a deliberate choice on God's part. In other words, God adopted Israel.
Isaiah 1:3 talks about an ox and a donkey each knowing it's master. Even a simple-minded animal forms attachment. Yet, Israel does not attach to God. They hardly recognize God's provision for them.
Why? They did not trust God to meet their needs, so they stopped crying out to Him.
Let's backtrack:
In Genesis, God created man & woman. They were in perfect communion with the Father. Then that darn "apple" was eaten! Sin entered the world. Suddenly Adam & Eve were detached from the Father. Sin separated them.
So, what happened?
Adam & Eve had a need - they could have cried out to God, but instead tried to take care of it themselves- the need was not met- trust was not developed.
And so this cycle was inherited by us all:
We all have needs- we try to meet them ourselves (through media, other people, food, pleasure) - but that need is never met, we are left wanting- we learn not to trust anyone.
The cycle begins again.
What's more, just like a child with attachment disorder, we fail to develop a conscience and do not learn to trust. We do not allow God to be in control of us due to this trust issue.
Yet, just as a brain can be retrained to develop attachments (painstaking work, but possible,) so can our wills be retrained to develop attachments with our Father.
It all goes back to crying out to have our needs met. We have a God who is perfect. He WILL meet our needs- WHEN we CRY out to Him.
Healthy Spiritual Attachment Cycle:
We have a need- we actually take it to the Lord- He will ALWAYS meet that need- trust develops.
How much easier will it be next time to take it to the Lord? We will soon EXPECT him to meet our needs.
Oh Lord, help me to take every need to you as I KNOW you meet my every need. Help me trust you fully. Attach me to yourself.
Hey Carol! Thanks for the post. Loved it. It was encouraging and insightful too! Hope you guys are doing well!! :)
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time I've visited your blog, having found you through a link on New Girl News. Just good timing? Maybe, but I see God's leading in that because I've had trust issues since I was a small child and the things that you've said resonated within me. Thank you...
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